copperbadge:

nanyoky:

I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

This has probably been said on this post before but it makes a reasonable amount of literary sense as well.

A lot of Shakespeare’s works, comedy in particular but also relatively serious plays like The Merchant Of Venice, were based in the tropes of Italian commedia, which is eventually where we get French sex farces from as well. 

Add in a servant who facilitates the nightly transfer and wants to get laid with one of the housemaids, some jokes between characters about people thinking Romeo and Benvolio are fucking all night long, Romeo in drag once or twice, and either a lecherous elderly neighbor or Juliet’s father always hanging around, and you’ve basically got the plot of a commedia performance. Especially funny at the time would have been dressing Romeo in drag (say, to pretend to be her lady in waiting when her dad almost catches him in some other man’s marital bed in the middle of the day) while Juliet was already being played by a boy actor in drag, and having Romeo pull it off so well that he gets mistaken for her. 

But yeah, R&J as a door-slammin’ sex comedy, I’d watch it. 

Commedia! *jazz hands*

(via fel-as-in-tumbld)

lily-exe:

honestly honey goes hard and bee husbandry is one of the key factors in sustaining declining bee populations, which is important as fuck because bees are a keystone species and their numbers declining means awful fucking things for us so. ive written papers on this shit like please use more honey instead of sugars and artificial sweeteners honey is so good

(via queenliu)

unculture:

the rock is fucking precious

(via fallingheroes)

leader-of-standing-purgatorians:

princess-romanova:

So I hadn’t yet come out to my mum and today I got home to see that someone had changed the cover on my bed to this

image

And then I saw that they left a note on the bed, so I went over to take a look at it and

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My mum is the best 

Whenever I see this I think well what if you weren’t gay and you came home one day to this

(via rayhill)

sassafrasscas:

i think i’ve tricked certain people into thinking im cooler than i am

(via moniquill)

(via moniquill)

takemewithyer:

Jenny Holzer is famous for her short statements, formally called ‘truisms’. Some are common myths while others are just phrases on random subjects in the form of slogans.

And this is the best of her Twitter feed. She has somehow perfected the art of sardonicism. You’re very, very welcome for this.

(via vaginawigs)

Human beings took our animal need for palatable food … and turned it into chocolate souffles with salted caramel cream. We took our ability to co-operate as a social species … and turned it into craft circles and bowling leagues and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We took our capacity to make and use tools … and turned it into the Apollo moon landing. We took our uniquely precise ability to communicate through language … and turned it into King Lear.

None of these things are necessary for survival and reproduction. That is exactly what makes them so splendid. When we take our basic evolutionary wiring and transform it into something far beyond any prosaic matters of survival and reproduction … that’s when humanity is at its best. That’s when we show ourselves to be capable of creating meaning and joy, for ourselves and for one another. That’s when we’re most uniquely human.

And the same is true for sex. Human beings have a deep, hard-wired urge to replicate our DNA, instilled in us by millions of years of evolution. And we’ve turned it into an intense and delightful form of communication, intimacy, creativity, community, personal expression, transcendence, joy, pleasure, and love. Regardless of whether any DNA gets replicated in the process.

Why should we see this as sinful? What makes this any different from chocolate souffles and King Lear?

meloromantics:

appropriately-inappropriate:

audreyvhorne:

sttinkerbelle:

vmpolung:

knowledgeandlove:

Photo source

Fact check source

#and I just don’t feel entitled to someone else’s life’s work.

That comment exactly!! It’s not mine and I can survive without it, so I will.

This is why honey is not vegan.

The problem here is that honey, especially if you buy it ethically from an apiarist, isn’t actually detrimental to the well-being of the bee or the hive. In the wild, honey is used as a food stock, but in a domesticated honeybee colony, the bees are fed quite well, and so the honey is a surplus.

The alternatives, like sugar, relies on monocrops in third world countries, with transient labour. Growing up, there was a sugarcane field by my house, and I’m sure the Haitian men who worked backbreaking hours hacking a machete through knife-bladed leaves in 40 degree heat for a couple dollars a day would have traded a testicle to be a Canadian honeybee. Stevia’s going the same way, iirc.

Additionally, apiarists are actually huge proponents and activists for sustainable bee-keeping, and it’s estimated that the domesticated hive may be the last great hope for declining populations, because we can optimize their chances for survival.

It’s their life’s work, sure, but it’s not the death of them to use it responsibly.

literally read anything about the history of sugarcane and the cuban sugar industry if you think sugar is or ever has been more ethical than honey

(via fel-as-in-tumbld)

facts-i-just-made-up:

Scenes from L.A.’s growing magician problem.

12-19-12, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city.  Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here.  The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing.  They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”

Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment.  We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I?  Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”

Troubling words indeed.

(via fel-as-in-tumbld)

roachpatrol:

digg:

Now this is the future of fashion.

WOW YES

(via moniquill)